Dear Draco,
I stumbled on a few of your advice articles while serving detention last week in the Owlery Tower. I don't think I need to tell you how boring serving detention is, but your articles did keep me somewhat entertained whenever I would read them before then having to use them to line the floors surrounding the owl perches.
In any case, I'm writing to you about a particular problem I've been having and wondering if you could help me. Lately, I've been finding myself feeling a bit restless and all around more bored than usual. I know, boring at school? Not a real shocker, right? Well, the point is I'm struggling to find much of anything to keep my attention long enough, which is starting to cause me some problems with my professors, hence serving detentions and scrubbing floors. My parents have even gone as far as to warn me about getting any additional detentions and have sworn that if I do, I won't be receiving the latest model of the Firebolt for Christmas. Needless to say, I'm in desperate need of your help.
-BoredandRestless
Dear Bored,
First of all, I'm not quite sure if I should take offense over my articles being used as floor liners beneath owl perches. In my opinion, my articles should be cherished and considered heirlooms since they always hold such great advice, but what do I know? You did take the time to write to me though and did complement me in the process, so perhaps I should help you? To be honest, I'm feeling rather bored myself, so let the great advice commence.
Firstly, I'm assuming you're probably towards the end of your time at Hogwarts and will be graduating soon, right? You'd have to be because, for the first few years of Hogwarts, you're too busy learning your way around to even have the time to be bored. Those enchanted staircases and secret plotting to be better than Potter sure kept me busy at least, but maybe that's just a "me" thing? Regardless, this leads me to my first piece of advice: Start a friendly feud with someone and make being better than them your main purpose. You won't believe how quickly time passes when you focus all your attention and energy on surpassing your rival.
However, if you decide that isn't the route you would like to take, though why wouldn't you? To each their own, I suppose. You could always cause a little harmless chaos instead. When I was at Hogwarts, there was a set of twins who did nothing but wreak havoc all for the sake of fun. I don't believe they ever intended to hurt anyone, though I'm sure some of their pranks may have caused a few students to end up in the Hospital Wing briefly. If causing chaos seems like your cup of tea, you could get a few of their products sent to you via Owl from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. My only suggestion if you go this route is to do it sneakily; otherwise, you'll probably end up with even more detentions, and well, then you could kiss the Firebolt goodbye.
If you're still reading this and not really connecting with any of my advice, something is clearly wrong with you, but I have a couple of other things I'd like to mention. Have you ever thought about starting a club? While starting a club isn't exactly my thing, it does hold some appeal for some people. You could even create a Fan Club for my advice article if you felt so inclined. Imagine a Fan Club solely dedicated to me and my articles. I could even send you some free autographed headshots of yours truly. You could also do merch for the club! Think of it, a T-shirt depicting my face deep in thought, tapping my chin lightly with my quill. If I were a student at Hogwarts, I would absolutely wear a shirt like that. And don't worry, I wouldn't even charge you a fee for using my likeness on any merch you make.
The Fan Club idea was probably the best one in this article; however, I have something else I'd like to suggest. Why don't you start a new hobby? I hear Muggles have this thing called a gaming console, and according to the news, it seems to be incredibly popular with the Muggle youth. Though I suppose getting a gaming console into Hogwarts might be a bit tricky. But, the Muggles do have this game that involves planting crops that seems like it would be rather fun. With that said, there are other hobbies you could try besides gaming. Perhaps you could get into stargazing or ghost hunting, though the ghosts at Hogwarts are pretty out and about so you wouldn't have to hunt too hard. Another great hobby you could get into is sneaking around Hogwarts and exploring, but I would be careful with this one as it would probably also lead to more detentions.
All in all, you were given some fantastic ideas to use and drag yourself out of the constant boredom you've been dealing with. If nothing has particularly stood out to you yet, then there is just no helping you. However, before I go, I would like to touch on the topic of boredom. It is completely normal to go through periods of being bored; in fact, many consider being bored a good thing, believe it or not. According to some research papers, scientists believe that being bored helps with your creativity, self-esteem, and original thinking. It's also supposedly great for developing your personal interests and pushing yourself to achieve whatever you desire. While I'm not entirely a fan of being bored myself, I do see the benefits of being bored sometimes. So my last piece of advice for you would be to just live fully in the moment of being bored; eventually the feeling will pass and you'll come out much better for it.
Having said that, I'm currently getting bored of this article now, so I will bid you farewell and go live in my moment of being bored while flipping through the latest edition of Quidditch Times. But before I sign off, I want to reiterate that you should write back if you decide to start a Fan Club for me. I'll start planning the T-shirts the next time I'm bored.
-Draco