Petulant Pirateering
- Nikita Grey

Well, hello there, lovely SOUP readers. It's that time again. Another month, another article. I should probably let you all know that I summarily failed to find any motivation for this offering after my "Oh-so-brilliant" Editors decided that I had to find something that encapsulates everything I normally try to avoid in my submissions. I never enjoy giving you all the details of what happens when magic is used improperly, but this time it seems I have no choice. The only saving grace is that I managed to finagle a considerable amount of help towards this issue from none other than Christopher Bones himself. So much so that he was determined that he had to take most of the credit for what you are about to read. *Cue an exaggerated eye-roll*

The rest of this piece was hashed out over coffee and pizza, and I have to confess that we laughed many times over the simple ridiculousness of everything Christopher told me about his discoveries. It almost made me wish that I had the courage to join him on his travels and become a Curse Breaker myself. Almost, but not quite. My sense of self-preservation is quite content to deal with the more gentle dangers I put myself through in the SOUP office (No thanks to *cough* Lugh *cough*).

However, I digress. I had better get on with the most relevant part of this tale before you all get bored of my rambling. It begins with a story that Christopher was told while clearing out an abandoned mansion on the southern coast of Portugal. According to the records for the building, the house used to belong to a very wealthy and respected wizarding family by the name of Marcelino. They were well known in the 17th Century as Healers and fair and just magistrates to their local community. They ran the local hospital and courts and ensured that the wizarding community they lived in was always safe and protected from harm. The leader of the large family was an honourable man and was devoted to his wife and children. All of his five sons and three daughters were extremely talented and respected in their own right as they grew up.

Well, all except the youngest son, Rafael. From what the notes found in the house showed, he was most definitely the most magically inept of all the children, and as a result, he was massively spoilt and indulged by his guilt-stricken parents. Wanting to make up for him not being as capable as his siblings, they gave the boy anything he wanted until he reached the age of 21. By that time, they expected him to take his place within the family and pull his weight when it came to helping the community he lived in.

This was not something Rafael was at all happy with. So after having the most flamboyant tantrum you would think possible, he stole one of his neighbour's merchant ships and bribed the crew to sail it for him. This rash move did not work out well for him, though, as the rest of the local merchant fleet was soon hot on his heels. The wind was barely blowing, so the stolen ship had barely escaped the bay it was in before Rafael was nearly caught. In a last-ditch effort to avoid capture and punishment, the panicked and novice pirate attempted to use the Hurricane spell, Ventus Tria to blow enough air into the ship's sails to send them surging ahead of the approaching ships full of angry wizards.

This very silly and totally inappropriate use of the spell did not have the effect that Rafael hoped for, and he could only watch in horror as the spell ran out of control and completely blew the ship's sails clean off the mast and its bindings. Leaving it floating on the surface of the sea beside him. Needless to say, the petulant pirate wannabe was immediately caught and thrown into jail for the next 50 years, much to his family's shame and horror. It was his incarceration that led them to abandon the house and move the entire family north into Spain. Which is a move that I, for one, wholeheartedly approve of. They must've been mortified, poor things.

As for the spell that was used here, I am sure nearly all of you are familiar with the commonly used Ventus Spell. It is a nifty trick when you need a short burst of wind to blow away something like cobwebs on your ceiling. Ventus Tria is the most extreme version of this incantation after Ventus Duo. It is pronounced, VEN-tuss TREE-a. You must be exceptionally clear in the emphasis you put on each syllable. A mistake that I suspect Rafael made. A mispronunciation can and will lead to a swirling windstorm that you simply cannot direct or control. The wand movement of a V shape going down and then up from left to right is the same as the standard Ventus Spell, but you should definitely put as much flair and oomph into it as you can, as the bigger the V, the stronger the spell will be. If you manage to cast it correctly, your wand tip will glow with a soft, silver-grey light for the duration of the spell.

So there you have it. It is not a spell I would recommend to anyone as it takes a considerable amount of power to control, and you should never, EVER, cast it indoors unless you want to rival the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz. That is something that a joker like Christopher would probably do, and I do not have the reach to deal with you all as I do him. So please promise me that you will all behave? Please?

Until next time my friendly readers. I have a Bones brother to supervise until Edward returns from Bali. Wish me luck! - Nikita