It was a lovely sunny day, and the SOUP Office was having a productive day. Briellerose was reading a new book, Kalina's desk was filled with open books and pages of notes, and Katie was fast asleep, dreaming about tap dancing socks. Unfortunately, a pile of papers being plopped onto her desk woke Katie up right before the grand finale of the performance.
Katie: Booooooo, more work. Maybe I should just quit. Yeah! I'll march straight into the editor's office and climb up onto their desks and proudly announce "I QUIT!" before marching out! Hahahaha, yes, that's what I'll do! Actually, no, I can't do that; I need this job. Alright, I suppose I better get to it then; let's see what I have to do for this month. . . Ugh, I still have to find a victim, I mean interviewee, for Chatting With. Booooo, now I have to get my list out and then send an owl, and then I'll have to leave the office. Why can't I just interview someone here? . . . Wait a minute, I CAN just interview someone here! Hmmm, but who to interview is the question?
Unfortunately, poor Nikita had picked the worst possible time to refill her mug with more tea. She soon found a wild Katie_slytherin chasing after her. After a manic minute filled with begging, singing, and pleading, Katie was merrily marching after Nikita towards her office.
Katie: GASP! I am in the office of Nikita Grey! I feel so powerful! Although you could use some balloons or glitter or socks to spice up the place or perhaps some. . . Orrrr, I can just stop the commentary and get straight to the article. . . Hi there, it's Katie_slytherin here with a new article of 'Chatting With. . .'! Today I didn't have to travel far because my darling coworker has agreed to chat with me this month! Give it up for our very own Nikita Grey! Woooo!!! Hello Nikita, thank you so much for agreeing to chat with me today; you won't regret it, I promise! As you probably are aware, well, because you work here, this month's theme is all about food! A most wonderful theme, if I might say so myself! The first question on my list is, are you a breakfast, lunch, or dinner kind of person?
Nikita: *Looks pointedly at the trash can by her desk and then back* Well, as you can see, Katie dear, I am not one to stop for a large meal most days. I prefer to graze and snack on the go. It's faster and easier by far. But, I will grant you that Momma Fox has taught me to appreciate the occasional home-cooked dinner, so I suppose I will have to say that one.
Katie: Cows also enjoy grazing; they graze on grass! Maybe you're secretly a cow! You know, like evolution and stuff, and I will stop talking now. Next question, what is the most exotic thing you have ever eaten? Any strange meats? Crazy eggs?!
Nikita: Oh my. There is a lot to choose from on that score. Did you know that Tabitha once dared me to eat pickled eels? No? Well, it was truly disgusting, so I will save you from that horror story. That being said, I never thought I would get to say this, but once, many years ago, an old friend and I were backpacking around the Amazon Basin and ended up eating freshwater crocodile steaks. They tasted a lot like pork if I'm honest, but it was an experience at least.
Katie: I want to hear more about the eels! Maybe you can tell me later? Alright, moving on, do you have any weird food combinations?
Nikita: Of course! Everyone does, don't they? *Looks confused for a moment and whispers* Is it just me? I don't know. . . *Shakes herself off* Never mind. I happen to be a big fan of grilled cheese on toast with marmite (a yeast-based spread that English Muggles seem to love). It is so delicious at any time of day. My other favourite is blue cheese, brandy and mushroom sauce on steak. It's heavenly. I promise.
Katie: Don't worry, everyone has a weird food combination, I promise it's not just you! Alright, let's shake things up with a 'would you rather' question. If there is a big event that includes a meal, are you usually the one to host or be a guest?
Nikita: *Checks her watch* Is this going to take much longer, dear? I do have my own articles to write, you know. *Sighs* I would much rather be a guest. That is something else I have learned from Momma Fox. While I may be able to keep myself alive with edible things, I am no chef. So I will leave the cooking of extravagant meals to someone much more qualified.
Katie: Yes, yes, don't worry, we're almost done. . . with the first half. . . Oooo okay, I have a good one. This one is really important. Are you ready? Okay, this is a scenario situation. You are to host a dinner party for a Hogwarts staff meeting; what are you cooking? Is there anything in particular, you would cook for a specific professor?
Nikita: Oh, for the love of Merlin's soggy pants, Katie! Why on earth would I do that? It sounds very traumatic. I have to say that I would definitely be ordering food in for such an occasion. The last thing I want to do is poison any of the Hogwarts Staff. Well. . . I might make an exception for Professor Slughorn. Do you know that fat old fool once told me that I was never going to make it as a potioneer? He was right, it seems, but that's beside the point...
Katie: Soggy pants? Well, why are they soggy? Did he sit in water? Did someone spill their tea on him? Did he. . . *whispers* Did he pee his pants? *giggles* Sorry, sorry, back on track. Where were we? Oh, here! What would you typically have to drink with a fancy meal?
Nikita: Hmmm, that's a tough one as I don't particularly drink many things. I much prefer plain water and the occasional glass of strawberry milk. But if I'm going to be pushed to have a drink, I will nearly always fall back on the family tradition of good single malt scotch or a crisp English cider. At least with those, I know I won't wake up feeling like a hippogriff ran over my head.
Katie: I tend to lean towards Sprite, but a good old glass of milk with a big meal is a good choice as well! Alright, next question, what is the biggest feast you have ever been to? What was it for?
Nikita: Ummmm *Blushes bright pink and fiddles with her wand* You have to promise you won't laugh? Please? It was for a huge post-duelling tournament party that the Nightshades dragged me to, and it was mortifying. There were about 200 people there, and they ALL saw me drop an entire bowl of pasta in my lap. I swear I could of crucio'd Jeremiah right there and then if I'd been allowed. But never mind that. Let's move on, shall we?
Katie: I can't believe the great Nikita Grey had a pasta accident. *giggles* Anywho, what kinds of sandwiches would you hope to see as appetizers at a big feast?
Nikita: I always enjoy prawn salad or ham and blue cheese personally. The normal sandwiches just bore me these days. Cucumber and salmon sandwiches seriously belong back in the 80s, don't you think?
Katie: Cucumber and salmon sandwiches? Those sound like they belong in the trash. Yuck! Let's get back on the yummy track. Do you have a favourite side dish?
Nikita: *Checks her watch again and begins to tap her foot impatiently while looking at her quill* That one is easy. Potato anything is usually a good choice. Did you ever try that Rumblethump recipe you borrowed from me? Momma Fox was an absolute genius with that side dish, wasn't she? *Fidgets*
Katie: *writes answer down ever so slowly* Potatoes are rather magical, aren't they? French fries, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, tater tots, cheesy potatoes! The options are endless! And yes, I did try that recipe, or well, my House Elf tested it for me. It was divine, five stars! I just have one last question for you. The most important question. The question EVERYONE is dying to know. What is your favourite dessert?
Nikita: *Sighs* Oh, come on, Katie. You know as well as I do from our movie marathon last week that I love anything with cherries or chocolate in it. You can't really get a better combination. Now, are we done? Yes? Good. I can finally get this silly spell figured out. Good luck with the article, and don't forget it's your turn to clean out the filter on the water cooler this week. And NO, I am not going to do it for you this time. *Waves and goes back to writing*
Katie: Wait, wait, just one more question! Please? Please!!!!! If you found yourself trapped in a basement approximately 7,644 cm underground, including the highest point of the tallest blade of glass. . . okay, well, we tried. Well, at least I can cross this off my list! Now I can finally finish that nap.
All right, folks, that wraps up this issue's Chatting With..! Thanks for reading, and thanks, Nikita, for agreeing to chat with me!
Until I reemerge from my cave again, this is goodbye from your favourite socktastically pureblooded Slytherin!
- Katie_slytherin