Dear Draco,
I'm planning a quick getaway to Scotland during Halloween and I was wondering if you could help me with some suggestions on some fun things to do while I'm there.
-Please Don't Suggest Eating Haggis
Dear Haggis,
Did I open a travel agency that has completely slipped my mind? Why would you think I would know anything about what you should be doing while in Scotland during Halloween? I mean come on. Wait, now that I'm taking a moment to think about it, I might have a few suggestions. Well, looks like you're in luck, and I have a moment to spare, so I may as well help you.
Where should I begin? You know, you never really told me where exactly in Scotland you'll be visiting. I don't know, kind of seems like an important detail but I'll try my best regardless. So you say that you'll be in Scotland during Halloween and as you know, with us being a part of the magical community, we do tend to lean heavily into the general atmosphere of this time of year. Have you considered attending one of the Halloween Balls happening on Halloween night? There are usually several options to choose from, although some may be better than others. Invitations are usually highly sought after; however, if you appear pitiful enough, maybe you could obtain one. In fact, some of my family members are hosting a Ball that night, but I wouldn't count on an invitation from us because you will absolutely not be getting one. If you're desperate enough, I've heard of a few mainstream vampires hosting Balls that night, but I wouldn't take a chance. You never know whether you'll be a guest or dinner.
If you enjoy mysteries, I would suggest a Mystery Dinner Theater. During a Mystery Dinner Theater, you will be served dinner while also solving a mystery in the process. I have been to a few Mystery Dinners before and they're honestly not all that bad, but please keep that piece of information to yourself. During one particular dinner, I almost solved the mystery first, but someone stole my win on a technicality. Come to find out later, the winner was friends with one of the actors, so they had a little help along the way. I'm certainly not still bothered by it, but that golden magnifying glass should have been mine! Nope, not bothered at all.
If mysteries aren't your thing, why don't you go to one of the hundreds of costume competitions that are likely happening that night? You might even have a slight advantage over some of the other contestants by wearing your normal clothes and saying that you're dressed as a witch/wizard/wix. However, if I'm being honest, that would be kind of a lazy costume. If you wanted, you could put some type of effort into a costume, though. Speaking of costumes, this kind of reminds me of dressing up when I was younger. One Halloween, my mom took me trick-or-treating in London. I loved my costume that year because it came with an eye patch and a fake sword! At the time I thought it was the greatest thing ever, that is until last month when I read what she wrote for SOUP. Yes! She dressed me up in a pirate costume. You know the people that she wrote about last month while "helping" me with my advice column? I thought it was always odd that she was fascinated with pirates, but I had no idea that I was so close to being Pirate Draco. You should have seen my face when I made the connection between pirates and her history. Oh well, if we ignore that fact, I did get a lot of candy that year, so maybe you should dress up as a pirate?
Speaking of dressing up, maybe you could go to the actual theater? Not a dinner theater, but a normal theater where you watch a play on stage? I've heard that the Muggles have a few good plays going on right now, one of which is called Macbeth. I haven't seen this play personally, but supposedly it's pretty well-known. It's about a General who was told he would be King one day by three witches. Supposedly in the play, he goes crazy, but that's all I can recall. Thinking about it, it doesn't seem to me that it portrays the magical community in a good light, but honestly, when have we ever been portrayed in a good light within the Muggle world? If you do go see it, please write back and tell me how the play is. Maybe I'll buy tickets for my parents to go see it.
Hmm, any other suggestions? Oh! Do you like magical creatures? If you do, maybe you should take a visit to see Nessie in her Loch. As you know, Nessie is very elusive and reclusive, for the most part. She tends to stay hidden to avoid being spotted by Muggles, but she does seem to be a bit more active on holidays such as these. I wonder if it has to do with fewer Muggles being around because they're off celebrating instead of bothering her? Who knows, but I wouldn't be doing my job as travel agent Draco if I didn't mention her at least once.
Okay, time for my last suggestion. Have you considered just staying inside on Halloween night and eating a bunch of Pumpkin Pasties and Jelly Slugs while binge-watching all the Halloween-themed movies that Muggles have created? Some of them are honestly good for a decent laugh. If I were you, this is exactly what I would be doing that night. Regrettably, I'm expected to attend the Ball that I mentioned earlier so instead of eating a load of sweets, I'm stuck dancing with one of my crazy relatives.
Alright, I've helped as much as I've wanted to and this has started to bore me. Hopefully, one of these suggestions has piqued your interest. If not, then you just need to accept that you're boring and should have gone to an actual travel agency instead of writing to me.
-Draco