a SOUP - November 2022
A Day in the Life with Peeves
- Aria

This is the story of how I nearly lost my mind with laughter and actually almost really hurt myself. I'm not even joking; I tumbled down the stairs at one point and almost whacked my head into a bannister from laughing so hard. Words of advice: always check your surroundings before you laugh because you could take a tumble that could change the course of your life. I survived with a few bruises that look like the reason I laughed so hard. He will be seeing them the next time I find him.

You might be asking what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that ridiculously funny, I mean, irritating ghost that enjoys tormenting and pranking all of us. Yes, it is Peeves. I made the very brave decision to follow him around for a day, to see what he got up to. It was quite an adventure, so let me tell you.

The day started off fine, with me enjoying a cup of iced coffee and a bagel. I thought I'd get to enjoy it in peace before I headed off to find him. But he'd gotten word of my idea, thus surprising me and jumping through my bagel, causing me to drop it onto myself and then the floor. So now, not only did I no longer have a bagel, but I was covered in cream cheese. All he did was laugh. It was pretty funny, but it was not how I wanted to start the day. After scolding him slightly, I cleaned myself up and followed him out of the Great Hall. He was pretty impressed that I wanted to follow him around, so he promised me some of his best pranks. I held him to it, for sure.

It seemed he had a theme for the day, deciding that he was a cat, determined to bother Professor McGonagall as much as he could. We snuck around a corner, noticing her patrolling the halls. Peeves meowed, causing McGonagall to turn around, seeing no one in the hallway. I stifled my giggles before getting a glare from Peeves. I definitely didn't want to piss him off. Who knows what he'd do to me then? He gestured for me to meow as well. Before I knew it, we were confusing the poor professor so much. She artfully flipped her cloak and tore through the hallway, trying to find the source. Much to my chagrin, she found me on the floor, doubled over in laughter, Peeves completely gone.

When I told her it was all his fault, she seemed to believe me. Once she turned the corner, Peeves popped back up, gesturing for me to follow him. I ran after him, stopping in a room full of boxes of kittens. He'd planned on releasing the kittens all over and just watching the chaos. I told him I'd only participate if it meant I could keep one. I'm now the proud owner of a black and white cat named Tuxedo. I love him quite a bit.

The cats were hidden in all sorts of locations, and people started panicking, wondering why cats were appearing out of nowhere. My laughter only increased. I was quite a fan of this already. As we peeked around the corner, I noticed a student picking up a small box. Peeves told me this was a box of exploding catnip. As the student opened the box, it seemed to be spring-loaded, with or without magic; I couldn't tell. It flew into their face, causing them to scream. I was sure that I'd never laughed so hard in my life. Moments after they opened the box, two of the random cats arrived out of nowhere, jumping on him as he smelled like catnip. We tore up the stairs, trying to get away so that we wouldn't be caught, only to see another student find a box of our exploding catnip. They were even less prepared than the first person, causing me to laugh so hard that I fell down the stairs.

It was like I couldn't catch myself and couldn't figure out why! This was far too much laughter for me. I was missing out on so much. Peeves laughed so hard that he nearly disappeared into the wall. At this point, I wasn't sure if I was still laughing at the catnip or the whole experience. Either way, I'd never laughed so much. It was even possible I'd lose my voice. Who knows?

This really was the best day ever. All of these cat pranks were far more amusing to watch than they should've been. I knew I'd want to spend another day with Peeves again. Perhaps we'd be buddies now, and I wouldn't be pranked. We could become an unbelievable pranking team!

Until the next silly day,


Aria