Crazes my dear readers, we have all heard of them and no doubt rolled our eyes theatrically whenever a new sensational toy, dance, or other over-hyped thing comes out to bombard us wherever we go. But what is the point of them? I for one can never figure them out. Despite all my Muggle-born relatives trying to persuade me, I have never danced the Maca - wotsit dance where you wave your arms around like they have been hexed with a stray Jelly Legs curse nor have I been to the local stores and bought pumpkin spice everything. Even though I am rather partial to the Pumpkin Bread that Momma Fox taught me to make last week, but that it is the exception to my rule. It's food and I would be a very silly witch to turn down delicious, free food now, wouldn't I?
I would not want you to get me wrong, however. I am not one to begrudge others their pleasures and healthy addictions, but I just don't get it. I would much rather just sit by my fire in peace and read of faraway lands and epic adventures. This, however, is not allowed in this office it seems, for it was only yesterday that our most exuberant and enthusiastic reporter Katie decided that I simply must try everything in the box of brightly coloured rubber inventions that she unceremoniously dumped on my desk. What were they you may ask? Well, they were another pointless Muggle thing that they are all going crazy for called "Pop-Its." The purpose of them is to relieve boredom, but why you wouldn't just pick up a book instead is beyond me.
After gently cursing my erstwhile office buddy and shaking my head with resignment, I had experimented grudgingly with a few and I had to admit that they were somewhat... fun? If a little small and fiddly for most adult hands. The relentless flicking back and forth of the little rubber domes was surprisingly more soothing than I first believed it would be. That was is when inspiration hit me! What we actually needed was a much larger version that we could all have said fun with, especially as our deadlines approach.
So whipping out my somewhat bored mahogany wand, I decided to make use of a spell I'm sure you all vaguely remember from your first-year Charms class. The spell I am talking about is of course Spongify. A somewhat useful little charm that makes things squishy. The pronunciation of the incantation in case you have forgotten is SPUN-ji-fye and the wand movement is a downward spiral of two turns. If you cast it correctly, you should see an orange or purple light stream from your wand. I'm sure the spell has many uses outside of the classroom, but in my 28 years on this planet, I have yet to find one. Until today.
Looking back as I write this little story for you, it probably was not my smartest idea to date. But if the Muggles can have squidgy toys to play with in the office, why can't we magical folks? So, with a flourish and a murmur, my desk had been hit. Unfortunately, I had not banked on the fact that once the spell was complete, all the debris that littered my former workstation would be cast into the air to land willy nilly all over the surrounding tables!
With the epithet to Merlin's pants on my lips, I had hastily started to clean my dear readers, only to find that my spell had worked too well. Much to the amusement of my desk neighbour Hobbit, I found that the new Pop-it I had made was both resilient to being turned back into a desk and incapable of retaining anything on it. Charms were never my strongest subject it seems. No one could help me and through many stifled giggles, I was reminded by Katie that at least our darling Editors are away until the following day.
With nothing else to be done or said to fix my mess, all I have to do now is cross my fingers and hope that the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad from the Ministry can get here to fix it before our dear Kitten feeds me to the paper's in-house Dragon. Wish me luck! - Nikita