Horoscopes
By Tyler
Well, well, well. I knew you'd saunter down this pathway. Here to learn your fortune? Well, this time we're gonna take a different route. Instead of feeble, wishy washy saying, we're gonna give you a spell that will come in use for you this month. Good luck on your journey.
Aries: March 21 - April 19
Alohomora (The Unlocking Charm)
Description: This is used to open and unlock doors; it can unseal doors upon which the Locking Spell has been cast, although it is possible to bewitch doors to resist the spell. Perhaps you'll find the perfect use to break and enter? Maybe it's time to attempt that bank heist.
Taurus: April 20 - May 20
Hour-Reversal Charm (The Time Turner Enchantment)
Description: Reverses small amounts of time (up to five hours). This enchantment is used to create Time-Turners. However, this charm is highly unstable and can cause loops in time. Proceed with caution. Altering history can be a tricky business.
Gemini: May 21 - June 20
Petrificus Totalus (Full Body-Bind Curse)
Description: This spell is used to temporarily bind the victim's body in a position much like that of a soldier at attention; the victim will usually fall to the ground and be rendered incapable of moving. It is believed that Pharaohs are cursed with this shortly before their successor took over the kingdom.
Cancer: June 21 - July 22
Lumos Solem (Light of the Sun)
Description: This charm creates a powerful ray of light as bright as the sun - used in defense of Devil's Snare an other day-fearing creatures. I'm not saying that you're gonna be in a cave at some point this month, but I'm also not saying that as well.
Leo: July 23 - August 22
Evanesco (Vanishing Spell)
Description: This spell vanishes the target; the best description of what happens to it is that it goes "into non-being, which is to say, everything". So, like, when you're wanting to creep around but can't afford a high-end invisibility cloak. But be careful. Once in a state on non-being, existential crises follow.
Virgo: August 23 - September 22
Tarantallegra (Dancing Feet Spell)
Description: Now, this special spell will make victim's legs dance uncontrollably (in reference to the tarantella dance). I'd say use this if you're wanting to impress the gals and pals at the Yule Ball. It's not coming up or anything, but practice makes perfect, really.
Libra: September 23 - October 22
Bombarda (The Explosion)
Description: Provokes a small explosion. Use this to blast your way through your enemies. Or through some really annoyingly hard packaging.
Scorpio: October 23 - November 22
Oppugno (The Oppugno Jinx)
Description: This jinx will cause animals or beings of lesser intelligence to attack the intended target. My preferred animal of choice is rodents. People flip out from it.
Sagittarius: November 23 - December 21
Herbifors (The Herb Charm)
Description: This spell causes flowers to sprout from the victim. Which is a really weird charm. So, use at your own discretion. Could be cute combined with the immobilization curse.
Capricorn: December 22 - January 19
Confringo (Blasting Curse)
Description: Causes anything that the spell comes into contact with to explode, and presumably thereafter burst into flame. Incineration of the target will be left in a pile of ash. So, perfect for when your favorite fast food place shorts you an order of fries.
Aquarius: January 20 - February 18
Fidelius Charm (The Soul Spell)
Description: A complex charm used to hide secret information within the soul of the charm's recipient, who is called a Secret-Keeper. The information is irretrievable unless the Secret-Keeper chooses to reveal it, and only the aforementioned person can do so. This is highly useful when you want to hide what you did last summer.
Pisces: February 19 - March 20
Expelliarmus (Disarming Charm)
Description: This will cause whatever the victim is holding to fly away, knocks out an opponent if used too forcefully. It will not only disarm the victim with a wand, but any object they are wielding. Are you dueling this month? Brush up on this spell!
So, be free and enjoy these! Don't harm yourself, kittens!