Horoscopes by Brandon
By scorpiodude31
Spring is in full bloom, at least it is here in Texas. Merlin's beard it's humid and hot, well, hot for me. My allergies are going off, my sinuses are congested worse than a troll inhaling puffapod spores on a hot summer day. This is not my month, but some of you Slytherins are embracing the renewed warmth, as well as the occasional surprising cold front that sends you to grab your cloaks. So here's to us all, and here's to hot summer nights ahead.
Aries:
You Rams are going with the flow; nothing really stands in your way except when it comes to relationships. You have a surprising shyness or cautiousness this month as Venus confunds your warrior-like heart; this in turn can make you be prone to risky behavior as you're one to impress. Be careful not to injure your face.
Taurus:
You Bulls are at home now. You have the ability to execute any plans you may have planned without any restrictions. Love is also in the air for you this time of year as Venus, your ruling planet of Love and beauty, is in the sky, dominating you for this month. Expect random surprises of gifts of different sorts. Perhaps a secret confession from someone you didn't know feels the same about you.
Gemini:
Almost there, just keep those horses held a little longer my Twin friends. The weather is favorable for you to sidetrack your restless mind in outdoor activities like Volleyball or a good duel. Anything to make you think. You can tend to be a little over critical this time of year as Venus makes you uncomfortable with being either too soft or too brash. Take it one step at a time.
Cancer:
You crabs are wanting to go out and do things. You've been cooped up for what seems like an eternity, either covering for your friends' dirty work or not being praised for your achievements. Love is in the cards for you if you're willing to let them in. Let your guard down for that one kind soul. You will love the outcome. Go with your gut.
Leo:
Lions! Party time! Yeah I said it, party time. You have to release this crazy energy somewhere, like in a Bulgarian mosh pit or in some wicked duel against the baddest bitch in the school. You want fame and you want all the perks that come with it. Be careful not too hurt those you care about in the process, though. Remember this is only for one month. Be careful what you eat.
Virgo:
A breath of fresh air, or a breath of stress on a giant platter and served with parsley? You maidens are about to run to the hills if you don't get a break soon. Virgos are relentless workers and you will be damned if you don't receive praise for your good work. Same goes for love, though the person will have to get past your full body inspection test.
Libra:
The Scales are tipped; you are either enjoying the warm weather or you're having a hard skin reaction to it and sprouting fangs whilst hugging the shadows... okay not really, but seriously, this time of year just hates October-born babies. Love is a challenge this year as Venus is in a practical placement and in your sign of detriment; Taurus. Be careful to eat moderately; Taurus energy causes you to gain weight.
Scorpio:
Us Scorpios are like a bowl of water this time of year; either we shape ourselves to the new weather with a fancy umbrella smoothie by the Black Lake or we're hating it and watching the giant squid sleep from our dormitory windows. Love isn't in the cards for us and for those with a partner, it will be challenging as Scorpios are very critical this time of year.
Sagittarius:
You Archers are just strolling along with your allergy pills in your pockets. Sore throats and laryngitis are prone to you this time of year as Taurus is your detrimental opposite sign and rules the throat/thyroid. This time of year is also one of the times to watch your weight gain as well as make sure you don't make someone want to Crucio you with your sharp tongue.
Capricorn:
I do expect you goats to be keeping your minds occupied by doing extra work for classes or club organizations. Anything to feel a sense of accomplishment. Love is in the air for you as well, and the time to tie the knot would be perfect for you this time of year as Venus is in an earth sign, which you are as well. Watch your dieting, though you usually eat in moderation anyways.
Aquarius:
Feel like things are starting to slow down? Feeling hazy during the day? It's the Taurus energy. You cool breeze water-bearers are stuck in a rut this time of year with skin problems and relationships. This time it is you and you want to have fun. Watch what you eat this time of year as you govern the blood circulation; eat healthy.
Pisces:
Oh, good heavens. You fish are in astrological Hell right now and yet trying to make the best out of it. Despite your best attempts to eat healthy, your mind is just gonna binge. You have to fight this much like having to back down from a fight with your partner as Venus discombobulates your mind making it hard for you to understand the simplest things. Take it one step at a time and everything will be okay.
By scorpiodude31
Spring is in full bloom, at least it is here in Texas. Merlin's beard it's humid and hot, well, hot for me. My allergies are going off, my sinuses are congested worse than a troll inhaling puffapod spores on a hot summer day. This is not my month, but some of you Slytherins are embracing the renewed warmth, as well as the occasional surprising cold front that sends you to grab your cloaks. So here's to us all, and here's to hot summer nights ahead.
Aries:
You Rams are going with the flow; nothing really stands in your way except when it comes to relationships. You have a surprising shyness or cautiousness this month as Venus confunds your warrior-like heart; this in turn can make you be prone to risky behavior as you're one to impress. Be careful not to injure your face.
Taurus:
You Bulls are at home now. You have the ability to execute any plans you may have planned without any restrictions. Love is also in the air for you this time of year as Venus, your ruling planet of Love and beauty, is in the sky, dominating you for this month. Expect random surprises of gifts of different sorts. Perhaps a secret confession from someone you didn't know feels the same about you.
Gemini:
Almost there, just keep those horses held a little longer my Twin friends. The weather is favorable for you to sidetrack your restless mind in outdoor activities like Volleyball or a good duel. Anything to make you think. You can tend to be a little over critical this time of year as Venus makes you uncomfortable with being either too soft or too brash. Take it one step at a time.
Cancer:
You crabs are wanting to go out and do things. You've been cooped up for what seems like an eternity, either covering for your friends' dirty work or not being praised for your achievements. Love is in the cards for you if you're willing to let them in. Let your guard down for that one kind soul. You will love the outcome. Go with your gut.
Leo:
Lions! Party time! Yeah I said it, party time. You have to release this crazy energy somewhere, like in a Bulgarian mosh pit or in some wicked duel against the baddest bitch in the school. You want fame and you want all the perks that come with it. Be careful not too hurt those you care about in the process, though. Remember this is only for one month. Be careful what you eat.
Virgo:
A breath of fresh air, or a breath of stress on a giant platter and served with parsley? You maidens are about to run to the hills if you don't get a break soon. Virgos are relentless workers and you will be damned if you don't receive praise for your good work. Same goes for love, though the person will have to get past your full body inspection test.
Libra:
The Scales are tipped; you are either enjoying the warm weather or you're having a hard skin reaction to it and sprouting fangs whilst hugging the shadows... okay not really, but seriously, this time of year just hates October-born babies. Love is a challenge this year as Venus is in a practical placement and in your sign of detriment; Taurus. Be careful to eat moderately; Taurus energy causes you to gain weight.
Scorpio:
Us Scorpios are like a bowl of water this time of year; either we shape ourselves to the new weather with a fancy umbrella smoothie by the Black Lake or we're hating it and watching the giant squid sleep from our dormitory windows. Love isn't in the cards for us and for those with a partner, it will be challenging as Scorpios are very critical this time of year.
Sagittarius:
You Archers are just strolling along with your allergy pills in your pockets. Sore throats and laryngitis are prone to you this time of year as Taurus is your detrimental opposite sign and rules the throat/thyroid. This time of year is also one of the times to watch your weight gain as well as make sure you don't make someone want to Crucio you with your sharp tongue.
Capricorn:
I do expect you goats to be keeping your minds occupied by doing extra work for classes or club organizations. Anything to feel a sense of accomplishment. Love is in the air for you as well, and the time to tie the knot would be perfect for you this time of year as Venus is in an earth sign, which you are as well. Watch your dieting, though you usually eat in moderation anyways.
Aquarius:
Feel like things are starting to slow down? Feeling hazy during the day? It's the Taurus energy. You cool breeze water-bearers are stuck in a rut this time of year with skin problems and relationships. This time it is you and you want to have fun. Watch what you eat this time of year as you govern the blood circulation; eat healthy.
Pisces:
Oh, good heavens. You fish are in astrological Hell right now and yet trying to make the best out of it. Despite your best attempts to eat healthy, your mind is just gonna binge. You have to fight this much like having to back down from a fight with your partner as Venus discombobulates your mind making it hard for you to understand the simplest things. Take it one step at a time and everything will be okay.