"God, keep my head above water
Don't let me drown, it gets harder....."
You know, my dear readers, I don't know what specific trauma Avril Lavigne was singing about, but this month I can sympathise somewhat. The world gets a little overwhelming sometimes, doesn't it? I'm sure there are many of us who feel like we are drowning at some point in our lives, whether that is physically or mentally. I myself have had just about enough of feeling like I have a swarm of Nargles floating around my head and preventing me from writing for you all.
However, that is a story for another day, as the Healers of St Mungos and I are yet to find a long-term solution for the symptoms I described. So to go along with something more literal that fits with the theme of this month's SOUP issue. I will instead use my journalistic skills to bring you something that every witch, wizard and wix should know if they are going to be spending any significant amount of time near bodies of water. Whether you and your family enjoy boating, swimming, or simply splashing in the bath, this first aid spell is an invaluable one to have in your personal arsenal.
I am referring to one commonly taught to both Healers and lifeguards alike and one that has saved many a life, I am sure. It is commonly known as the Anatomical Water Removal Spell. It is only to be used in cases of suspected drowning, where water has found its way into places where it should not, such as the lungs. To use it any other time would cause the target to become severely dehydrated, and that would not be helpful to anyone. This particular incantation is a simple one. The words of it, "Aridam Pulmones", directly translate to the Latin words for "Dry" and "Lungs", so it is easy to understand what it does.
To cast this spell effectively, not only must you enunciate the incantation very clearly with the pronunciation, A-rid-AM PUL-mone-ez, but you must be very clear about where you want the water to be removed from. To do this correctly, you must place the tip of your wand directly on the target's sternum, making contact with the skin, and then draw a straight, upward arrow towards the mouth so they can cough up the water. If you are not perfectly aligned, the water may escape from their ears or nose, and that is never a comfortable sensation for anyone. Trust me.
If you do manage to get everything right, you will be rewarded with the sight of a pretty sky-blue ball of light slipping from the end of your wand and travelling up the target's body until all the invading water has been expelled. If you have not managed it, however, there will be a disappointing lack of light, and your target will continue to drown. From what I have been told though, it is very easy to practice this spell using a water balloon and a length of tubing. So there is no reason for anyone not to be able to cast it effectively in an emergency.
The origins of this spell have unfortunately been lost over the years, and despite his best efforts, my Healer friend Aiden could not find the source. He did discover, though, that it became part of the current Healer Training Syllabus as far back as 1578. So it has been extensively used and tested over the centuries for sure. I am positive that I have also read of it somewhere in some first aid handbook for new wizard parents, but do not quote me on that as not being a parent myself, I cannot remember where I saw it, and I have never had cause to use it myself. Though having spoken to Aiden and having it refreshed in my mind, I do plan on perfecting the casting just in case.
Alas, though, it is time I got going. I have yet another trip to the SOUP library planned today. I heard a whisper that both little dragon and Aria are planning on filling the office with yet more sugary treats that will do nothing for my attempts to curb my sweet tooth. So I will leave you with a cheery wave and wish you well until our next adventure. Happy Casting! - Nikita