Wee Scottish Beasties
- Nikita Grey

Well now my dear readers, have I got a story to tell you this month! It really has been quite a dramatic adventure this week and not my ideal cup of tea at all. But before I lose you to my fellow reporter's stories, I will explain. You see, it all started with our dear Editors announcing the theme for this month. The very idea of getting to dive into history to dig up some ancient Celtic magic to share with you all had this journalist pretty excited. I could feel Mummy dears ancestors practically humming in my ears. I knew what I had to do.

Hurrying home that day, I quickly dispatched an owl to my great aunt Serren and shoved as many clothes as I could find in the unfortunate detritus on my bedroom floor (The result of yet another Tabitha tornado whirling through) into a bag. A trip to Scotland to visit the family was bound to inspire me and I could not wait to sit in the Three Broomsticks again while sharing stories with my cousin Garrick. He was the most authentic, kilt-wearing Celtic legend I know and he was bound to have something I could use to please the Dragon, Wolf and Kitten back in the office.

It sounds like a good method doesn't it my dear readers? Well, unfortunately, as it usually happens with my bright ideas. It did not go to plan. No sooner had I arrived, landing on my bottom in a bush outside my aunt's house after a very bumpy apparition, then my ears were assaulted by the caustic hiss of "Oi!!! Fatty!! Move your flabby rump!" Jumping to my feet and whirling in surprise, my eyes met with the beady ones of a certain foul-mouthed, weasel-like creature staring at me indignantly. I have to admit my readers, that this journalist was not the smartest at that moment and very stupidly began to laugh. Which you may or may not know. is a very unwise thing to do when confronted by an angry Jarvey that has just had the entrance to his home squished. Now many of you may have believed that these small, talking, bushy-tailed creatures were extinct. But I can assure you that they are not. This particular one has been a resident in my aunt's garden for quite some time and while I normally avoid the trash-talking terror, that day I had no such luck.

Backing away slowly as the beasty advanced, my heart thumping, I tried to remember what Garrick had said the last time I was here about defences. It was very hard to concentrate as insults flew at me, but then fuzzy memories began to filter back. I knew what to do!

Now many of you will have learned both of the spells I used at Hogwarts, but how often have you actually had to use them? Probably not a lot and I for one will say that my skill in that department is not the sharpest. Luckily they were just enough to save me having my ankles shredded. I am of course talking about the Arresto Momentum Charm and the Incarcerous Charm. Both of which allowed me to detain the little monster long enough to get into my aunt's house safely.

So let me explain if any of you have forgotten them and need to use them in an emergency as I suddenly did. The Arresto Momentum Charm, (Pronounced ah-REST-oh mo-MEN-tum) is the spell that slows down and stops the movement and momentum of a moving object or person. The wand movement is to wave your wand in a capital "M" shape and the cast will provide either no light from your wand or a faint, blue glow depending on how strongly you cast it. For the Incarcerous Charm (Pronounced n-KAR-ser-us), you will need to trace your wand in a looping knot shape. The spell creates no light but does make a rope appear from your wand to bind the thing attacking you. Both of these spells can be cast non-verbally and given that I was dealing with a relatively sentient creature on this occasion, I'm glad they were. As I watched the little bound form wiggle on the ground from the front hallway, you can bet that I blessed Professor Flitwick for those particular lessons.

Needless to say, after that little escapade, Garrick and I had more than enough to discuss in the pub. Which led my dear readers to my current state of very unfortunate but self-inflicted hungoverness. So until next time...stay safe all and watch out for little Celtic beasties with a penchant for human toes! - Nikita