Letting Your Evil Side Win: Your Enemies Will Think You're Sweet Until The Poison Kicks In
By Lilith Lestrange
My most beloved Snakes,
I'm afraid it's that time of year again; that time when you've reached your wit's end with that certain unnamed individual and you want nothing more than to smack them upside the head with one of your rather large, bulky textbooks you should be studying from. It is this exact feeling that inspired me to write this article for you all in hopes that you might find some useful information in here to help rid you of this pesky nuisance once and for all for a little while.
So sit back, relax, read, and start devising a plan for world domination to purge you of this pest, while inadvertently getting in touch with your evil side. For the sake of things, let's speak about all of this in hypothetical terms, I don't want anyone getting any ideas. So let's pretend that hypothetically, you have an enemy that you simply can't stand. You can't afford to attack them directly and earn yourself another month's worth of detention, so you formulate an evil genius plan in that little evil brain of yours. What is the best way to harm someone indirectly, without getting caught? The answer's pretty darn simple, don't you think? Poison, of course.
Poison you say? Indeed. Give that little pest of yours a taste of any of the poisons or poisonous potion ingredients that will be mentioned in this article and it'll send them straight to St. Mungo's for a lovely, several months long vacation. So where are these poisons and poisonous potion ingredients, you ask? Well hold your damn horses, I'm getting there. I'd like to start with my absolute favorite poison--yes, I have one--the Bloodroot Poison.
Why is this one my favorite you might ask? Excellent question. Bloodroot Poison is made up primarily of a plant called Bloodroot, as if that isn't already obvious enough. Bloodroot is a perennial flowering plant that can easily be identified by its white petals and yellow reproductive parts. Bloodroot, along with its extracts, kills animal cells, and can wreak havoc on the body. You can purchase Bloodroot in Knockturn Alley from: Cobbs & Webbs', Mr. Mulpepper's Apothecary, or Shyverwretch's Venoms and Poisons. When it comes to determining how to poison said individual, infusing Salt Water Taffy or some Crystallized Pineapple with the Bloodroot Poison are both great choices. If you want this individual to stay at St. Mungo's for quite a while, this is the poison to choose.
My next favorite poison would have to be the Baneberry Potion. Why are we talking about a potion, not a poison, you ask? Well you see, this sneaky little bugger is actually a poison hiding behind the harmless title of potion. So perhaps, for the sake of the situation, we'll just rename it Baneberry Poison. The main ingredient of this poison is pretty straightforward: baneberry. Baneberry is a genus of flowering plants, whose berries are the most poisonous part of the plant.
A simple way to recognize this plant is by clusters of red and/or white berries. It is these berries that are used in the Baneberry Poison. Baneberry is extremely poisonous and has been known to be very dangerous if ingested. You can purchase Baneberry in Knockturn Alley from: Moribund's or The Spiny Serpent. Since Baneberry has just a prominent flavor, it would be best to infuse it into a candy that also has a prominent flavor. Acid Pops, Ginger Newt, or Sour Apple Bites are all good candies to infuse the Baneberry into.
Well, I believe I've given you enough hypothetical ideas to think about. Don't do anything stupid like forgetting you poisoned a candy and then accidentally eating it. Happy poisoning!
Until next time,
Lilith Lestrange