Mr Fashionista
By Tyler
Hello darlings!I know, I know, you all miss me. It's okay. You're clingy, I get it. I understand. I empathize.
But I have stumbled upon the most perfect fashion advice for all my darling readers!
Now, since spring is KNOWN for it's eccentric colors, we're going to take that to the nth degree. The only way to top the looks we've done for spring is to do them even BIGGER for summer!
That's right. We're going into a world without return. What I'm about to declare is revolutionary. Please, hold your applause until the end. It's about to get hectic up in here. I hope you're all sitting down... because here it is:
We're going to glue candy to our outfits.
I know. "It can only bring disaster" You'll scream. "Jealousy's the ugliest trait!" You'll gasp. "It's madness!" You're all thinking. And that's right. It is. But only madness inspires the best ideas. Trust me, I'm totally qualified to make that assessment.
"But when do I buy the candy?!" You're thinking. Well, here's a helpful hint: wait until the day after a holiday and buy the discount candy in the day-after sale. And hot glue the hell out of your outfit. It's insanity. But it's also fashion. Trust me.
A concern you might all be having is this: insects like candy. You're right, again. I only suggest you carry a flyswatter around with you at all times. No one wants to deal with bug bites or stings. Stop them before they stop you. Just remember: every bug bite is just its jealousy taking control of it. It's almost like a compliment, if you don't think about it at all.
So, what have we learned today, ladies and gentlemen? Candy plus glue equals fashion and jealousy. Use this knowledge not only at your own discretion, but to crush others in your way. Go forth, readers! Go forth and be fabulous!
Until next time,
Mr. Fashionista