Hagrid Hideaway
By Hagrid
Now, now, now, don't be askin' any more questions. Top secret, that is! The SOUP staffers wouldn't want me tellin' of their hi-jinks up at the school. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not sayin' I approve of what's happenin', in fact, I weren't too happy to see little Professor Flitwick doin' the weirdest impression of a canary out by me pumpkin patch jus' yesterday! Stepped on me prized pumpkin, he did, and it took me forever to yank 'im away from the nearest flobberworm. Took quite a likin' to it, ya know, keeps it up in his office..
Movin' past that, today I went into the Great Hall to help with the usual end o' year decorations, and I happened across the oddest sight. A bunch of firstie Hufflepuffs had somehow managed to tie their own tongues together, if ya would believe it! O' course, I did the sane thing and bent down, grabbed the nearest one by the ankles and pulled, resulting in a total firs' year pile up. I thought to meself, well this is rather suspicious. Even hufflepuffs ain't that dumb!
Anyways, I reported it to ol' McGonagall and she lead me in the direction of the SOUP offices, ya see. But it was like they was under siege! I ducked through the door and there were fanged frisbees, acid pops, dungbombs, portable swamps, stink pellets, everythin' that could have a young mischief maker foamin' at the mouth! They was polite enough to promise to ease up soon, though I'm certain I saw young Alisha crossin' her fingers behind her back!
But I scooped up me own share of the goodies, and I swore to keep meself quiet before goin' on me way with some mischief of me own in mind. Ya see, I knows for certain that Professor Grubbly-Plank always has a mid afternoon walk, and it just so happened that me bag of tricks was in me hands as I caught sight of her. Never liked her. Out for me job, I just know it! Was it really me own fault that a fanged frisbee threw itself from me pocket, whacked her round the head, and knocked the poor Witch out cold? O' course not! Total accident. Such a shame really, she swears she's never comin' back to Hogwarts again!
Ah, well I've always enjoyed the shenanigans o' the las' week o' term! Reminds me of when young Harry was in his fourth year, me and Olympe had a picnic down by the Black Lake during the las' week. I remember her turning to me, her lips parted as she said ''Hagreed.'' She was movin' closer, her eyes all shut, and that's when I knew it had happened. Olympe had been the victim of a blood pop! Per'aps that were why her tongue was hangin' out. Don't you worry, I took her straight to the hospital wing! All bewildered, she was. Obviously had no idea of the annual end o' term buffoonery!
So, movin' back on point, that's how I found out about the on goin' rebellion.
.. But I shouldn't have told yer that.
Kickin' himself,
Hagrid.