The smell of sage infused incense wafted about what once looked like Ms. Helena's fortune-telling studio. Somehow the curious shop had become all the curiouser, and perhaps not quite in a good way. Pouffes lay scattered about the floor, replacing the elegant armchairs that had once been arranged around the shop. And even though it was July, a fire blazed and crackled on its enchanted wood. The heat mingled with the earthy scents, and overall it was extremely stuffy in the once clean, open room. Standing towards the back, a sparkling woman with large glasses beckoned the students closer.
Good evening, my dears. I'll expect many of you may have predicted my arrival today, but for those of you who have yet to take my class, my name is Professor Sybill Trelawney. My poor cousin seemed to catch a rather dire case of the Dragonpox. I, of course, warned her to avoid drinking Mugwort tea under the last full moon, as I knew this would happen if she did. She simply did not heed my warnings in time. Ah, well, I expect you all will be more open to accepting the messages from the Great Beyond. Remember, let your Inner Eyes guide you through your journey. Now, do have a seat, and we can begin with those born in July.
I have used crystal balls, Tarot cards, and so much more to gather the following fortunes. I expect nothing but accuracy in my predictions, and would like to caution many of you to be extra careful this month.
CANCER - June 21 - July 22:
For those born at the beginning of July, I fear you will be the cause of a tragic moment in a loved one's life. This could be as simple as forgetting to water your mum's prized, potted plant, though I wouldn't count on it being so benign.
LEO - July 23 - August 22:
Oh dear! I fear you will be the victim of a theft. Keep your possessions within reach at all times, and that thing you are dreading may be avoided yet. Carry a seven-leafed clover in your pocket for the last 13 days of July for some extra protection.
VIRGO - August 23 - September 22:
Have you checked the health of your owl lately? I see a rather unfortunate strain of bird flu in your near future. Decide whether it is time to simply purchase a new companion or accept the fate that you may, too, fall ill.
LIBRA - September 23 - October 22:
Uncontrolled hiccuping is nothing to laugh at. And I expect that after the backfire of potion or curse unknown, you will understand the seriousness of your predicament. Avoid Moondew, yes, even in Butterbeer, to save yourself the pain of a trip to St. Mungo's.
SCORPIO - October 23 - November 21:
Beware a yellow lily. It will happen on your path suddenly, and cause you to trip. This in turn will end in a sprained ankle that I expect with plague you longer than it should. Keep your wand out at all times, and avoid leisurely walks outside.
SAGITTARIUS - November 22 - December 21:
It is no coincidence that a Centaur will leap into your life. As your fellow archers, I expect he will be furious at you for an offense you are doomed to commit. You may try to appease him with an offering of Mallowsweet.
CAPRICORN - December 22 - January 19:
The ram should be the sign of a resilient witch or wizard. However, the summer holiday season will see you weeping into your pumpkin juice. You will not receive the gift you desire most, and it will be unavailable to purchase for yourself.
AQUARIUS - January 20 - February 18:
The 22nd of July cannot be avoided for you. You simply must accept what the fates will bring, and hope to recover on the 23rd. Carry a bottle of Skelegrow with you the entire month, and do be careful on any extended broom flights.
PISCES - February 19 - March 20:
Just like the fish of your sign, you will find yourself in deep water very soon. I suspect it has something to with the Bowtruckle you will accidentally step on next week. Anyways, if you don't already know how, now is the best time to learn to swim.
ARIES - March 21 - April 19:
A loose bludger will find its way into your room and destroy your favourite thing above all. There is no stopping fate, my dear, but perhaps a horseshoe above your door may save your property yet. It won't, however, prevent the poltergeist that inhabits your house next year.
TAURUS - April 20 - May 20:
The strong-willed bulls can handle a lot on their plate usually. But for July, we find ourselves amidst the Mercury Retrograde. A person from your past will appear with good intentions, but actually be a Boggart in disguise. Carry a purple crystal in your robe's pocket to avoid the humiliation of confronting a being that isn't real.
GEMINI - May 21 - June 20:
After failing an important exam, I suggest you find an elder student that can help tutor you. And don't worry, I am not upset that it happens to be my Divination class's final you do not pass. I will slip you a case of tea leaves for you to practice with over summer break.
Fair fortune to you all, as I expect you'll be needing it this month and on.
Until we meet again,
-Professor Trelawney