a SOUP - February 2023
Potent Potions
- I-must-not-be-named

Ah, weird weather! Such a great theme for a great publication. Of course, I once again had problems finding suitable potions to fit this theme. Weather and potions, do they even have any connection? Well, of course, they do! Weather includes rain and potions also involve water. Weather is something that happens in this world and potions are also made in this world. But, anything else? I do not think so.

Well, I did manage to find a few potions that were connected to the weather in some way after delving into the deepest and darkest parts of the SOUP library. Well, starting off, the first potion is the Drying Potion. So, are you completely drenched from the heavy rain outside? Perhaps you saw a romantic movie with a scene of dancing in the rain and decided to give it a try and didn't find yourself enjoying it? Well, this is the potion for you. This cheap potion lets you easily dry yourselves in a few minutes just by drinking a few drops of this! This disgusting-looking yellowish-brown is enough to dry you off in just under ten minutes! Wanna give it a try? It is available in most Diagon Alley apothecaries for only 5 Galleons! Rather cheap for a useful potion, don't you think? And, it can be used on everything, ranging from pets to humans!

The second potion is the Sunny Potion! Wearing hundreds of sweaters that weigh you down to your knees so that you're not able to walk? Maybe you've been really wanting to wear a thin t-shirt for no apparent reason? Well, this potion is exactly for you. This potion lets you feel warm enough to wear a thin t-shirt in cold weather without you shivering. One hour is the maximum time a drink of this potion grants you. Of course, if the temperature is something like -100 degree Celsius (or some 80 degrees around it), this won't work. So, yes, terms and conditions apply to this too. Though, of course, if the temperature is 5 degree Celsius or something like that, you can be sure of an hour of t-shirt warmth in you.

The third and last potion is a potion to make it rain! Yep, the Rainy Potion is a bizarre potion that makes it rain wherever it is spread. Maybe you've got a weird fascination with water that you can make it rain even in your home? Or, are you doing some research on water that needs to rain? Well, this is the potion for you! The Rainy Potion is a pink-looking potion that smells horrible and lets you make rain in a closed space. By spreading it properly throughout the floor of your house, you can gift yourself half an hour of good-old light rain. It is unknown where exactly the water comes from, but if it comes from nowhere, then this is a study to conduct as nothing can come out of nowhere if I remember my studies correctly. Or I may be wrong and things do come out of nowhere.

Ah, this is the end now. The above potions are really useless, I know, but that is the problem with weather-concerning potions: there just aren't any good ones. I didn't think I would need to go into the deepest and darkest part of the SOUP library, which is not even touched for, I think, a million years. The door was made of iron for some reason with rust covering it. I could see nothing in the darkness and I had to take my wand out. Cobwebs everywhere, books so old that I could not understand them (it might've been in other countries' languages), useless books that seemed to be filled with songs of old wizard heroes, but at last I found a book which seemed to be from the ancient times listing all the new potions from companies (the writer must've been a Seer to predict all the potions so accurately).

Well, the above useless potions might be useful to somebody, you never know. So, this is goodbye from I-must-not-be-named.