Dear Pansy
By Pansy Parkinson
Dear Pansy,
As the weather outside gets frightful and the fireplace so delightful, I've been wondering where you'll go since its snowing and I know it gets cold.
PS: Will you go with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?
xoxo,
I'll be under the Mistletoe
Dear I'll (not) be under the Mistletoe,
How very...charming of you to write moi a tacky piece of amateur poetry. That was worth at least a 4 out of 10, with 10 being the highest digit. Now I may not be the best poet, but I thought it would only be fair if I wrote you one. Here it goes:
Violets are Blue
I have a pocket warmer
So, no, thank you.
PS: I'm only going for the butterbeer.
xoxo,
Pansy P.
Dear Pansy,
Jolly old saint Nick isn't so jolly. I received a letter early this week letting me know that I didnt make the cut for America's Next Top Model the nice list this year. This means my stocking will most likely be filled with coal. For what? All because I called a muggle born for what they truly are. I refuse to have an empty stocking! What do I do?
Sincerely,
I'm going to hex Santa
Dear I'm going to hex Santa,
It is a troubling time for us Slythies at this time of the year. Which is why you shouldn't worry about that big guy in the red suit. I know a better more sophisticated guy in a green one. Green is the new red, you see. I'll let him know of this wrong that has been done to you. In the meantime, I'll need something in return. I'll be expecting your vote for Yule Ball Queen when the time comes. As Rumplestiltskin once said, "all magic comes with a price" and that is mine. Ciao!
xoxo,
Pansy P.
Dear Pansy,
I'm trying to decide what to get my mum for the Holidays. I've narrowed it down from keychains, DIY's, clothing, jewelry, socks, books, mugs, and a day at the spa coupon. Now, my list still has all of them but I've scratched out DIY's. Anything that requires me making it with my two unartistic hands will somehow manage to end up burned. What would you recommend?
Sincerely,
My mum needs an extravagant gift
Dear My mum needs an extravagant gift,
As touched as I am of the fact that you have decided to approach me for suggestions on gifting your dear mother, I'm not quite sure if I should be happy or insulted by the mere suggestion that I have an elderly woman's taste. Now, for the sake that I have turned over a new leaf this holiday season, I will spare your life this once. Moving on, I must ask. Do you live under a rock? Have you never heard of the fraise "Diamonds are a girls best friend" because let me tell you, if your mother and I, no matter how insulting that may sound to me, have the same taste then I would suspect that she is a jewelry lady.
PS: I hope your mother is ecstatic with that comparison. To be compared to me is a gift!
xoxo,
Pansy P.