Chatting with Fortescue
By James Rowle XI
I'm back here again for another month of annoying a random person with a few inane questions about the theme of the month. I would almost consider complaining about being forced to do such mindless, repetitive work, but let's be honest here, I love annoying people. There is just something so satisfying about asking really random questions to someone and watching the uncomfortable aura creep up upon them.
Still, this is the so called Holiday season, which is incidentally the theme of this month. Holidays truly are a wonderful thing, full of magic(not real magic of course, fake muggle magic), wonder, and most importantly, food. Nothing says holiday like a good feast full of your favorite foods, as long as it's not interrupted by a troll in the dungeons. So it is with this theme in mind that I decided upon the lucky person I would interrogate this month under the guise of being a friendly chat.
So I rushed to Diagon Alley, found the needed store, gripped onto the owners arm, and dragged him to the nearest available table. On a side note, I would like to take this moment to apologize to the child I knocked over in my haste, I swear I will buy you a new lollipop one day.
Q – Question
A – Answer
Q – Hello Mr. Florean Fortescue. Do you mind being the interviewee on SOUP magazines December edition?
A – Err, um, I'm very flattered, this is honestly quite a surprise. I would be honored to answer any questions you might have about..........
[Here he kind of trailed off hesitantly.]
Q – Holidays. I want to talk to you about holidays. Now I imagine they're an extremely busy time of year for you?
A – Yes, they are very busy for me. The school holidays in particular, I have numerous young students spending Summer days perched at my tables for hours on end.
Q – I'm sure they just love the cool refreshing taste of ice cream on a hot day. Now, can you tell us a bit about the ice creams you sell for the holidays?
A – Hmm, well for Christmas I have a delightful little sundae I call Santa's Magical Winter Wonderland. It comes in three layers. A hard chocolate fudge ice cream as base to represent dirt, followed by the middle layer of a nice subtle mint ice cream for the green Earth, then we have a white chocolate frosting lightly dusted over the top. Over all that we have various bits and pieces of chocolate frogs and other sweets.
[I started salivating, hopefully Mr Fortescue cleans my drool of this table before the next person eats here.]
Q – That sounds delightful. So would you say you make a steady profit here over holiday events?
A – Indeed. Nothing boosts my profit like a holiday, and it quite honestly keeps my business running steady over the more quiet months.
Q – Do you have any problems maintaining the ice cream supply over the holidays? I think In remember hearing something about a shortage of Halloween Butterbeer Spiders last year?
A – That was an unfortunate accident involving a professional Chudley Cannons player, a runaway Toad, and an illegal flying carpet. You know how those Chudley Cannon players can be? Either way, it was a series of unfortunate events that will never occur again. I assure you that the ice cream will not run out anytime soon.
[I was really intrigued to hear the full story but yet I knew that it was time to wrap this interview up.]
Q – Last question, you wouldn't happen have any Chocolate Banana Chip Ice Cream Sandwiches laying around?
A – Yes, yes, of course. Here, take one on the house for letting me be apart of your paper.
So it was with great joy I carried my prized sandwich back to the SOUP offices, ready to defend it at all costs. I count this as another successful interview, in fact an extra successful interview consider the free food at the end. Now I just had to hide it from the crafty hands of my fellow writers, this was my free ice cream sandwich!