News & Noteworthy Events
by Tyler
It's your favorite news anchor and I'm here to tell you the world is ending. Probably. Okay, I might be exaggerating a little... Regardless, my world is ending.
I procrastinated EVERYTHING until the last week of November and I'm up to my eyeballs in homework, articles, projects, and Christmas gifts to make! How could you all allow me to make such a detrimental mistake! I trusted you guys!!
Okay, okay, let me pull myself together and whip up some totally accurate news for my dedicated reader(s).
As you all know, House elections just wrapped up and we here at SOUP would like to welcome the new Slytherin staff to the party! We know you're all going to do an amazing job and have a fantastic time while doing so! That being said, we demand more airtime and a third of the House's income. These are non-negotiable terms. Please abide by these ASAP as we have new office decorations picked out already.
Next up is Slytherin's farewell sitewide coverage! The event was based around the tragic love tale of Bellatrix and Rodolphus, prisoners who escaped together from the wizard fortress, Azkaban. While they escape, they grow apart and find solace in their baking and sculpting. Bellatrix then opens a quaint bakery in Diagon Alley called "Twisted Creations" while Rodolphus opened a studio called "Creations Twisted". I know, they're a modern day Romeo and Juliet.
What? That's not what the event was about? Damn, I guess that's what I get for eating an entire pie before I go to sleep. Either way, it was a blast with some awesome contests!
In more close knit news, I'm knitting a sweater (see what I did there?). It's blue and very smooshy (as said by the lovely Misti). You can all feel free to be jealous and send me threats until I cave and cry a little. Otherwise known as a Tuesday night, am I right?
Okay, I think I've rambled enough for you to all have a great understanding of the happenings of HEX lately. If you find any of this information to be false, then I suggest you close your eyes and reread this article. Replace the false facts with hard hitting news!
Until next time,
Tyler