Running like Clockwork
- Nikita Grey

Why, my dear readers? Why do I always agree to things when I know I really really shouldn't? I swear I am cursed at times. From the minute Wolf sauntered into my office with a wicked grin on her lips, I knew I was in trouble. And no, not that kind of trouble. Not the kind that meant my dear Editor was about to use me as the newest target of her claws. She was wickedly waving temptation under my nose.

The lucky Lupine had secured tickets to the theatre for myself and her, along with a few others, to see the newest and most exciting show. It also happened to coincide neatly with the theme of this month's issue of SOUP. If I did not know better, I would think that Wolf had done it on purpose to get our creative juices flowing in time for the deadline, but she could not have been that lucky, I'm sure. However, she also knows that I have a weakness for anything musical, so now I found myself committed to yet another evening of having catchy songs stuck in my head when I should be focusing on writing.

That being said, though, this time, I had to be thankful that she had pulled me along, as I could not have been happier when it caused inspiration to hit me square between the eyes like a steam-powered missile. While sitting in my seat and enjoying Mr Paul Sapera's "The Dolls of Albion" Steampunk Opera, I was captivated by the way the set designers made everything on the stage move like a seamless clockwork motion picture. It really was very clever, and I was thoroughly impressed by how the actors managed to interact with the muggle mechanics around them.

It got me thinking of how such a feat could be achieved using magic, and it gave me the perfect excuse to remind you all of a very useful spell you should all be more than capable of casting by now. It is one that can be used for so many different situations that I'm sure you have all used it at some point. I am, of course, talking about the "Locomotor" spell.

The handy little charm can be used for everything from the smallest moving toys for children to mobilising whole armies of statues. I'm sure you are all aware of how Professor McGonagall used Piertotum Locomotor during The Battle Of Hogwarts. However, I do not have anything nearly as grand in mind.

For the purpose of this article, I would like you to focus your attention on those small wind-up muggle toys that you were no doubt given as a child by some well-meaning relative who hoped to entertain you. If you are anything like me, the need to constantly wind the dratted things back up became exceedingly tedious after a while, and most of the toys ended up abandoned under various pieces of furniture when they eventually died under there out of reach.

What would you say though, if there was a spell you could cast that would keep the toys constantly moving until you ended it? It would certainly make playing with such clever pieces of engineering less tedious, don't you think? Well, luckily enough for you, I have just the thing. I'm sure the parents among you will be grateful for it. At least for a little while.

As with most Locomotor spells, this incantation follows the Latin roots of its creation and can be used to keep small wheels and cogs perpetually moving. "Locomotor Rotae", meaning "Wheels Move in Place", is best used on watches, small clocks, and toys to replace the need to constantly wind them back up. It does not even have to be cast with that much accuracy, as it only works if your wand tip is pointed directly at an object that contains such mechanical parts. This spell produces a momentary spark of weak green light if cast correctly, usually by the second circle of your wand. Five clockwise circles around your target are required for the spell to be complete. Even the pronunciation of this charm is relatively difficult to mess up unless you have a lisp of some kind. You simply enunciate LO-co-MO-tor ROH-tay as you move your wand wrist, and the spell is done.

So there you have it. Whether you are a beleaguered parent or someone who would like to send an army of clockwork mice into your office to frighten people, you now have the perfect charm to cast. I myself plan on using it to make sure that everyone in the SOUP offices knows..... Well, that would be telling now, wouldn't it?

So until next time, my lovely readers, yours truly has things to do That may or may not get me in trouble. Be safe and happy casting! - Nikita