Freelance
By Artemis
What month is this month? You got it right - it's April! Want to know a fact about April? It's also National Garden Month! Let me introduce it to you... ahem.... wait for a long lecture (not really)
National Garden Month is a time for gardeners across the world to passionately reach out and commemorate this time to focus on the essential connection between people, plants, and the environment. It is an oppurtunity to discover simple ways to bring backyards not that I have one, schools, and neighbourhoods closer to the rhythm of nature. It's a time of renewal and a reinvigorating return to our roots.
During this month, you can reflect on the pride of nurturing the earth and the power of BRINGING FORTH LIFE! from bare soil. As gardens multiply and grow, the quality of our life is directly impacted: the world is being transformed into a greener, more livable environment, where the act of nurturing plants can influence education, health, nutrition, community and food sources. National Garden Month aims to get people growing, so that millions of people can proudly proclaim: THIS IS MY GARDEN!
What can you do during National Garden Month? Well, plant, obviously. Duh.
- Design a plant to attract pollinators
- Plant a cutting garden so you can enjoy freshly cut bouquets all season long
- Plant herbs to make your own herbal tea (try mint, bee balm, or chamomile)
- Plant a kitchen garden near your back door with greens and herbs for convenient harvesting
- Design and plant a bird-friendly garden (but take care of avian flu)
- Grow a fragrance garden (try heliotrope, oriental lilies, nicotiana and stock)
- Work with friends and family to grow a giant (don't get your hopes up!) pumpkin, hibiscus, or other flashy plants for entry in the country fair, or just for fun (pumpkin pie!)
April is also National Humor Month, so why don't we combine it with National Garden Month and get some lame and boring garden jokes?
1) A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down.
During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it's a completely different place. The farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.
"Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
"Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"
2) Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells, and don't work half the time.
3) What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower? They both have bees coming after them.
4) Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth. Bristle sprouts.
5) The real meaning of plant catalog terminology:
"A favorite of birds" means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clotheslines.
"Grows more beautiful each year" means "Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future."
"Zone 5 with protection" is a variation on the phrase "Russian roulette."
"May require support" means your daughter's engineering degree will finally pay off.
"Moisture-loving" plants are ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps.
"Carefree" refers more to the plant's attitude than to your workload.
"Vigorous" is code for "has a Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world."
"Grandma's Favorite" -- until she discovered free-flowering, disease-resistant hybrids.
Hahahahahaha - are you not laughing your head off? Probably not... But that's it from me this month -
Yours Always,
Artemis