Horoscopes by Brandon
By scorpiodude31
April, April, April, the month that marks the months ahead that I dread. This Scorpio hates Spring and Summer. If I am not in a pool, my ass is inside watching Supernatural. Of course, this makes the world go round; I am sure that you spring chickens are excited about the ever so promising humid southerly winds that promise a bad hair day the next morning. The Fall and Winter Slythies; hold on my dearies, we will get through this!
Aries:
You rams have been waiting for what seems an eon for the warmth of the sun once more. Take your time and enjoy the lush grounds grass by the black lake. Spring is your season, after all. Friends are a vitality to you this time of year as you are always making plans to go see the hottest band or make new spells in your dormitory. Friends are important as you have a hard time finishing up your projects. Romance could be in the cards, but Mars may be a bit on the brash/guarded side but things will come around.
Taurus:
Break out the food and butterbeer and gather your friends around. You have this overwhelming sense to celebrate or party as the weather grows warmer. Careful not to overindulge as you are a pro at this and could possibly lose a friend or two due to your gluttonous behavior. Watch your weight this time of year; a few laps around the Transfiguration courtyard should burn off those spicy buffalo wings the house elves are favoring this year. Romance is also in the cards but with Mars entering the sky on the 19th you will be unsatisfactory in finding the right one as it seems every attempt is in vain. Let them come to you.
Gemini:
Not much longer my dear Slythie Twins! You are about a heartbeat away from running and screaming into the Forbidden Forest with everything demanding your attention. Relationships are draining this time of year for you as you just don't find the time for them. You won't, however, turn down a snogging session with that person who catches your eye. Careful not to burn yourself out. Try and contain your unlimited stores of energy because you will need it once Mars enters the sky on the 19th.
Cancer:
Can someone say fed up? You Slythies can. You have been stepped on, used, taken for granted and you are about to just explode. Mars isn't helping any either, being associated with Gryffindor house and the element of fire; being a water sign that is self explanatory. April is full of deadlines and Professors demanding every last thing out of you. You may feel the need to reconnect with nature and animals as Mars enters the sky on the 19th so spending some time with Hagrid would calm your mind.
Leo:
Did someone say party? Of course not, you Slythies just bring it wherever you go. You Leo Slythies could be seen all over Hogwarts doing Merlin knows what. Lounging by the Black Lake seems to be THE thing for you to do this time of year with your Aries and Sagittarius buds. Careful not to get into trouble as any flame can get out of control. Romance is in the cards for you Lion/Lionesses; with Mars entering the sky on the 19th you will have a very passionate encounter. Let the sparks fly!
Virgo:
Headache? Migraine? Upset stomach? All of the above? Yeah, April is not the month for you Maidens. Full of things to do and no will power nor drive to do them. Getting out of the common room and taking a walk through the Forbidden Forest would lighten your mood; let alone just smelling the cool Spring breeze. Make sure to have plenty of Pepperup Potion at hand as this time of year triggers your allergies worse than a troll with a puffapod. If you have a relationship in mind, put your armor on. It's going to be war.
Libra:
Either you Librans are enjoying the weather, or you are just DREADING it and the summer ahead. Much like Virgos and Scorpios, you too are having all kinds of problems this time of year. With Easter rapidly approaching you're trying to figure out what to wear to what and what is in and what is not. Venus is downright catty as Mars enters the sky on the 19th sending your mentality on a portkey to oblivion. Keep being positive and don't try to date anyone as it will be short-lived and leave you feeling torn. Best of all, it's not your fault.
Scorpio:
Have a frown? Wanna punch a baby? Sick of the cheery Hufflepuffs prancing through the corridors? Join the bandwagon. Us Scorpios are just the Scrooges of the zodiac right now. Spring being the detrimental season for us causes us to have allergies, colds, hives, all that nasty shit that we don't get in the Fall and Winter. The only plus side to everything is that the water isn't bone chilling and we can swim. Careful not to upset the giant squid though. Relationships aren't advised unless you just want a snogging partner.
Sagittarius:
You Archers are either celebrating or you're joining everyone else's "Spring Bitching" bandwagon. Winter has come and gone and Spring is here. You have a sense of adventure and want to take your Nimbus on a ride to Scotland or the Forest of Dean for a weekend getaway from all the demands of Professors. Don't self-indulge too much as you will put on weight faster than a fat girl with no metabolism at the waffle house. If you are searching for that right someone then you may find them, but do hurry as you only have until April 23 to find them.
Capricorn:
Got plans? Too many? Lots of parties? Possibly. You goats are all over the scene right now from getting promotions to Professors recognizing you or perhaps a letter to intern at the Ministry this summer! One thing can be said about you goats and that is you don't give up. You may fall down and wipe out but you never lose your eye on the prize. Especially Slytherin goats. You can tackle anything you set your mind to, but be weary as Mars enters the sky on the 19th making things more difficult for you; including relationships.
Aquarius:
Aren't you guys looking nice! Seriously, new robes from Madam Malkin's is just the thing for you Aquarians to feel content. From Quidditch to homework you're doing everything and surprisingly have energy left! As Spring sprung you can be found strolling the grounds with your besties or just joining the other signs by the Black Lake and soaking up some sun. Relationships are phenomenal this time of year for you with Mars entering the sky. You are likely to find someone that is your equal, or more! Get ready!
Pisces:
Surprisingly enough, you fishes are relishing the warmer weather. Most of you anyway. This time of year is a swing vote for you Slythie Pisceans as you are helping a friend out with relationship drama or counseling a friend with issues because they slipped Snape some Veritaserum. You're the friend to have around as you are most understanding of people and like helping in general. If you wish to commit to a relationship, make sure you're in it for the long haul because Mars will put up a fight.
If you have any questions please don't hesitate to owl me.
I'll see you lovelies again in May! Best wishes,
Brandon Kindla
By scorpiodude31
April, April, April, the month that marks the months ahead that I dread. This Scorpio hates Spring and Summer. If I am not in a pool, my ass is inside watching Supernatural. Of course, this makes the world go round; I am sure that you spring chickens are excited about the ever so promising humid southerly winds that promise a bad hair day the next morning. The Fall and Winter Slythies; hold on my dearies, we will get through this!
Aries:
You rams have been waiting for what seems an eon for the warmth of the sun once more. Take your time and enjoy the lush grounds grass by the black lake. Spring is your season, after all. Friends are a vitality to you this time of year as you are always making plans to go see the hottest band or make new spells in your dormitory. Friends are important as you have a hard time finishing up your projects. Romance could be in the cards, but Mars may be a bit on the brash/guarded side but things will come around.
Taurus:
Break out the food and butterbeer and gather your friends around. You have this overwhelming sense to celebrate or party as the weather grows warmer. Careful not to overindulge as you are a pro at this and could possibly lose a friend or two due to your gluttonous behavior. Watch your weight this time of year; a few laps around the Transfiguration courtyard should burn off those spicy buffalo wings the house elves are favoring this year. Romance is also in the cards but with Mars entering the sky on the 19th you will be unsatisfactory in finding the right one as it seems every attempt is in vain. Let them come to you.
Gemini:
Not much longer my dear Slythie Twins! You are about a heartbeat away from running and screaming into the Forbidden Forest with everything demanding your attention. Relationships are draining this time of year for you as you just don't find the time for them. You won't, however, turn down a snogging session with that person who catches your eye. Careful not to burn yourself out. Try and contain your unlimited stores of energy because you will need it once Mars enters the sky on the 19th.
Cancer:
Can someone say fed up? You Slythies can. You have been stepped on, used, taken for granted and you are about to just explode. Mars isn't helping any either, being associated with Gryffindor house and the element of fire; being a water sign that is self explanatory. April is full of deadlines and Professors demanding every last thing out of you. You may feel the need to reconnect with nature and animals as Mars enters the sky on the 19th so spending some time with Hagrid would calm your mind.
Leo:
Did someone say party? Of course not, you Slythies just bring it wherever you go. You Leo Slythies could be seen all over Hogwarts doing Merlin knows what. Lounging by the Black Lake seems to be THE thing for you to do this time of year with your Aries and Sagittarius buds. Careful not to get into trouble as any flame can get out of control. Romance is in the cards for you Lion/Lionesses; with Mars entering the sky on the 19th you will have a very passionate encounter. Let the sparks fly!
Virgo:
Headache? Migraine? Upset stomach? All of the above? Yeah, April is not the month for you Maidens. Full of things to do and no will power nor drive to do them. Getting out of the common room and taking a walk through the Forbidden Forest would lighten your mood; let alone just smelling the cool Spring breeze. Make sure to have plenty of Pepperup Potion at hand as this time of year triggers your allergies worse than a troll with a puffapod. If you have a relationship in mind, put your armor on. It's going to be war.
Libra:
Either you Librans are enjoying the weather, or you are just DREADING it and the summer ahead. Much like Virgos and Scorpios, you too are having all kinds of problems this time of year. With Easter rapidly approaching you're trying to figure out what to wear to what and what is in and what is not. Venus is downright catty as Mars enters the sky on the 19th sending your mentality on a portkey to oblivion. Keep being positive and don't try to date anyone as it will be short-lived and leave you feeling torn. Best of all, it's not your fault.
Scorpio:
Have a frown? Wanna punch a baby? Sick of the cheery Hufflepuffs prancing through the corridors? Join the bandwagon. Us Scorpios are just the Scrooges of the zodiac right now. Spring being the detrimental season for us causes us to have allergies, colds, hives, all that nasty shit that we don't get in the Fall and Winter. The only plus side to everything is that the water isn't bone chilling and we can swim. Careful not to upset the giant squid though. Relationships aren't advised unless you just want a snogging partner.
Sagittarius:
You Archers are either celebrating or you're joining everyone else's "Spring Bitching" bandwagon. Winter has come and gone and Spring is here. You have a sense of adventure and want to take your Nimbus on a ride to Scotland or the Forest of Dean for a weekend getaway from all the demands of Professors. Don't self-indulge too much as you will put on weight faster than a fat girl with no metabolism at the waffle house. If you are searching for that right someone then you may find them, but do hurry as you only have until April 23 to find them.
Capricorn:
Got plans? Too many? Lots of parties? Possibly. You goats are all over the scene right now from getting promotions to Professors recognizing you or perhaps a letter to intern at the Ministry this summer! One thing can be said about you goats and that is you don't give up. You may fall down and wipe out but you never lose your eye on the prize. Especially Slytherin goats. You can tackle anything you set your mind to, but be weary as Mars enters the sky on the 19th making things more difficult for you; including relationships.
Aquarius:
Aren't you guys looking nice! Seriously, new robes from Madam Malkin's is just the thing for you Aquarians to feel content. From Quidditch to homework you're doing everything and surprisingly have energy left! As Spring sprung you can be found strolling the grounds with your besties or just joining the other signs by the Black Lake and soaking up some sun. Relationships are phenomenal this time of year for you with Mars entering the sky. You are likely to find someone that is your equal, or more! Get ready!
Pisces:
Surprisingly enough, you fishes are relishing the warmer weather. Most of you anyway. This time of year is a swing vote for you Slythie Pisceans as you are helping a friend out with relationship drama or counseling a friend with issues because they slipped Snape some Veritaserum. You're the friend to have around as you are most understanding of people and like helping in general. If you wish to commit to a relationship, make sure you're in it for the long haul because Mars will put up a fight.
If you have any questions please don't hesitate to owl me.
I'll see you lovelies again in May! Best wishes,
Brandon Kindla